Red
by 0ri
Summary: Subaru asks why. [Seishirou x Subaru][graphic][sexual innuendo][angst]


xX Welp, this took a really long time...

I think the writing in itself of this came out terribly poor... And I'm just dissastisfied with this peice in general.

I hope the people who read this don't feel the same despite how I feel.

And before you read, note that this story is intense and graphic and sick. Yup, that pretty much sums it up. I think it's sad too. Depending on what kind of person you are I don't know if you'll feel the same. ; ;

** Disclaimor:** Clamp owns X and all it's characters... I envy...

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Subara felt pinched in this position – gazing up into the object that was pinning him against the mattress; biting his lower lip as his heart rate began to dramatically increase with every passing second. Seishirou smiled at him cockily, calm and collected - his eyes unseen and hidden behind the black expanse of plastic and metal.

Subaru lifted a hand, gently brushing the rims of the sun glasses. Cautiously, with the same hand, he slid them off – waiting to see if Seishirou would object. He didn't. With care, the younger man set them aside on the night stand of his room, heaving a breath, glancing back then into the man's uncovered eyes. Amber burned with a snake-like intensity, sharp and cold – a blizzard of locks and keys. Looking into Seishirou's eyes – one so alive and the other so dead – he secretly mused if he could cut himself with just looking at this man.

Seishirou... so cruel... so sadistic...

So... horribly... horribly...

Intoxicating.

The older man craned his neck down, shifting their positions a little so that Subaru could be a little more comfortable against his body – and then went to the matter at hand – assaulting his onmyoji's neck. Playful nips and kisses danced along the skin in a parade of lust, surprisingly gentle – Subaru inhaled profoundly as a bite was placed on his neck, drawing something hot down his throat_. Blood._

He was hardly objecting though; a worn smile riding his features and then diminishing. Subaru already knew what he was getting into… Seishirou would always be the same with him.

A mixture of sweet and bitter, constantly confusing him –

Sex was likely to turn out the same.

He felt a tongue dip along the curve of his wound, tasting blood. Seishirou pulled back, smiling, sticking his tongue out to display the gleaming red shining on the muscle for the boy to see. "Even your blood is _sweet_, Subaru-kun." He commented as if that were the loveliest thing in the word.

"Shut up." Subaru demanded sullenly, reaching his arms around the back of the older mans neck to bring him back down. "Shut up and fuck me." He whispered hotly into the assassin's ear, shuttering at his own words – why was he being so haste? It felt as if the moment was on speed dial, some thing that if they let it, would fly away too swiftly and be gone forever in the dusk. The image of a bridge suddenly mapped out in Subaru's mind with these musings.

The bridge.. Collapsing..

Blood on his hands… Blood on his body, in his ears, on his lips… Red.

Everything was red.

He was shaking as Seishirou opened up his shirt, shaking as his hands fingered out the other mans coat, letting the heavy garment slide off and make a slight 'put' sound as it hit the wooden floor. He bit his lip, trembling, anxiously staring as he helped Seishirou then to remove his own shirt – a long, slender body coming into better view. Seishirou looked at him, grinning a grin that was anything but pleasant.

Subaru noted his paleness as he calmed, running smooth fingers over the fine lines and hard curves of the other mans abdomen. Down he trailed, all the way to his white stomach, to the rim of his black pants then back up, admiring the body of the man before him.

Seishirou pushed Subaru a little more to the middle of the bed then, gripping the others hands tightly and shoving them above his head. He leaned down, kissing the side of Subaru's lips, tracing over them in a ghastly like way - A ghost of a touch that left the other craving for more and more.

Seishirou obliged to the silent plea, letting go of Subaru's hands so he could cup his face, and crushed their lips together. Subaru subconsciously moaned, granting entrance to his mouth, and their tongues played together in a sweaty dance of love, of hatred, of dominance, and of submission. Seishirou suckled on Subaru's tongue for a short time, quickly winning the dominance side of this game.

Subaru lifted himself, as if to stretch – and their groins brushed against one another's. He fell back, moaning, unable to comprehend why this all just felt _so _damn good. Seishirou had moaned a bit as well even, and now was looking down at Subaru with all the composure in the world; leisurely brushing his fingers against the other mans chest.

He bent down again, taking one of Subaru's pinkish-colored nipples in his mouth. Subaru held in his shriek of surprise, instead of the latter settling for a weak groan to show he was enjoying it; arching his back to meet Seishirou's mouth.

He brushed his hands up Seishirou's back in the meanwhile, panting lightly as he felt the tongue tasting him. He smirked a bit with pride as Seishirou shivered – as he grazed his hands across the dip of the spine, down and back up again, until he reached the other man's hair.

It was like silk when he felt it. The strands easily combed through his fingers, and the hair fell back into place neatly an orderly as if his hands had never been there at all. He loved Seishirou's hair – a black so inky and dark it could compete with the blackest of permeate markers. It shined royal blue as it moved with the aid of his touch – and he felt himself perplexed as he watched it.

Seishirou nipped him a bit then, and Subaru shivered and groan just slightly - as the other man trailed downward, his tongue lightly brushing his skin. Seishirou paused, and Subaru looked down at him in slight confusion, and then threw his head back against the pillows as Seishirou filled his bellybutton with his tongue.

Subaru squirmed beneath him, wiggling, being tickled and pleasured at the same time – goose bumps covering his body. Seishirou swirled his tongue around, pressing forth, and roughly gripped Subaru steady – and then moved his mouth away. He carefully outlined the rim of Subaru's pants with his hands – purposely moving so he could brushed his hand against the others hardness. He smirked in triumph at the moan the onmyoji let escape.

Humming, like picking daisies, Seishirou began to undo Subaru's pants. The zipper made a creaking-like noise as it came down. He brushed his mouth against the line starting the boxers, hooking his fingers onto them and pulling them down as well.

Subaru felt his whole body grow stiff and hot. He shivered as the last of his clothes were completely removed, and bit back a whimper as Seishirou looked him up and down critically. "You're beautiful." Seishirou stroked his cheek with his palm, his smile warm. "My beautiful… Subaru…" The pitch of his voice fell into a feeble hush.

There it was again. The bridge collapsing – rubble and smoke and ash swirling around him, tainting the air and blackening his lungs. But even worse was the scent – metallic and thick, like molasses - the scent of blood everywhere – the hue of red, coloring him, fading him out into liquid. Blood was absorbing him. It was all he could see, hear, and feel. And in this pool of blood, this river blinding him red – cherry blossoms; still so pure with the screams of its victims, and the thinning whisper of the dead it had taken into its petals.

Seishirou looked at him, broken and smiling as tears trailed down his face. Subaru's eyes widened – and it was then he felt himself crying as well. "Seish…" He stopped, words trailing off as he looked down – right through assassins naked chest was a gaping hole, connecting all the way from his front to his back. And worse was Subaru's own arm filling it.

He screamed.

And screamed.

Seishirou choked, staggering, sliding forward – Subaru jerked as he felt his arm coated with liquid and organs, Seishirou slipping down his arm like a giant ring or piece of clothing. Frantic, he speedily pulled backward, his arm coming out – and the sakurazukamori fell forward, lying face first in the cotton blankets and sheets – which were greedily soaking in his blood.

Subaru sobbed hysterically, horrified by this sight – himself still naked, only now painted in Seishirou's blood.

He took the other mans shoulders, helping him back up and pulling him so he was now lying on his back. Half of Seishirou's face was crimson. He sobbed.

"S-Seishirou! What has happened to you! W-What-?" Totally astounded by the scene at hand, Subaru stuttered out his questions, making it so they were near possible to fathom. "H-Hospital!" Subaru exclaimed. "I-I'll call the hospital!" As he moved to get up and race for the phone, he was stopped by a certain hand on his forearm.

"I-It's too late… For that…" Seishirou smiled grimly, looking weak and vulnerable – more weak and vulnerable then Subaru could ever recall seeing him. The little color in Seishirou's face was draining rapidly, and that was scaring Subaru most of all. "Stay… Stay with me… " He mumbled, vocals failing as his eye lids dropped, dazed from pain. "This is what you wanted… anyway.. to.. to kill.. me.." Seishirou looked as if he was trying to smile – but it was cracked and jagged, as if it weren't supposed to be there and was simply forming on its own accord.

"No! I NEVER wanted that! I could _NEVER_ want that!" Subaru yelled, jolting around to face the man whose life was quickly declining. The sakurazuka's smile had fallen – too weak to even hold that up anymore. Subaru whimpered at the sight - turning away hurriedly to search out the phone once more.

But he found himself stopping.

They weren't in his room anymore.

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They were no where; a vast plain of blackness and twisted forests – with leaves that crunched underfoot as he moved with failing steps. The only light provided was from the crescent moon above, and with no accompanying stars in the bleak sky –there was nothing; Nothing but a dead plain that stretched beyond from what he could see and sense; Nothing but the freezing gust of wind that racked around his naked form.

Hardly able to breathe from bawling, Subaru jerked himself around – searching madly for his companion. But he was no where in sight. There was nothing left; not even a trace that he had been there. Subaru fell to his knees, screaming, ripping weeds out of the dirt as he hollered, "SEISHIROU! SEISHIROU!"

It hardly sounded like his voice anymore.

He then stood, at the brink of going mad as he roamed through the woods – twigs and vines cutting him, slicing delicate skin wide open as he rushed. He did not know he was screaming until he felt the blood bubbling up in his throat. Coughing, he paused, gasping, still sobbing – as he brought a hand to his chest to ease his breathing.

Subaru looked up again – attempting calamity – but his heart began to race. It was hard to see with all the shadows of the trees caving down on the silhouette, but the sight of the cherry blossoms and scent of blood was enough to tell him that Seishirou was there. Seishirou always smelled.. of cherry blossoms…

Racing towards his last hope of ever seeing his love, his enemy, his life – ever again, Subaru sped his pace, ignoring the assuring snap of a partially spiky vine. Droplets of blood coated the black leaves as he sprinted across the distance – dropping to his knees as he came in contact with the other.

"Seishirou!" He exclaimed, panting harshly. Seishirou was still only in his pants – and still there, and for whatever reason Subaru had been hoping to god that it had disappeared – the hole in the other mans chest. He whimpered to himself as he very deftly moved the pads of his thumbs across the other man's closed eyelids.

"Wake… Wake up…" Subaru mumbled desperately, tugging Seishirou up so he could lean on his chest. The area around Seishirou had formed a puddle of blood – but Subaru had only noticed when he'd moved the sakurazukamori. Seishirou was also much lighter then Subaru had recalled from their earlier incident on his bed.

"Won't… Won't anyone help me?" Subaru asked quietly, only to be answered by the dead howl of the wind.

He gazed at Seishirou's face as his hair whipped in the wind. "Some one… Anyone… Please…" He brought Seishirou's body closer, shivering all over. The older man wasn't even shivering. "Please… Some one…" Subaru felt water welling in his eyes again, but he ignored it as he stroked the side of Seishirou's face as if he were the most precious angel in the world.

"Y-You're… crying…" The other man mumbled, and Subaru gasped with surprise, having thought the other had already fallen into deaths arms.

"Please hold on!" He begged with an urgency that was almost harsh in its plea – it hurt to talk. But then again, everything hurt for the Sumeragi right now. "Just hold –" His voice died as he was silenced by Seishirou's hand on his mouth.

Seishirou gazed up at him, smiling wearily. "After all… the pain I've… c.. caused you. You still wish… w-wish for me to live, Subaru? You're… f-far… too kind." The assassin's words were too fragile. Too shattered. "Subaru… I… " He paused, heaving frail breaths, his amber eye looking darker then it should have looked – sadder as well. Subaru stared, wide-eyed as the older man leaned up to whisper into his ear, "I.. Lov..e.. You…"

He then fell, dissipating into nothing but a corpse.

Subaru, in vain, still clinging to false hope – turned Seishirou back around, draping himself over his body. "No! Don't say that!" Tears streamed down his face, and he tasted some thing thick and hot with lingering warmth. "Don't you dare say that and leave me! SEISHIROU!"

Only the moan of the wind replied.

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Subaru shot up from bed; pants filling the once silent room.

"A dream," He whispered to himself, more for the comforting sound and reassurement that he could still speak rather then for the confirmation that what he spoke was true. "Just.." He tried to get his lungs and heart speed on track. "J-Just…" He almost smiled. "A dream."

Weaving deep breathes into his throat, Subaru gagged for a moment – running a hand through his hair to slick it back – and, drawing his hand back, knowing without looking sweat coated his hand.

Still shaking, and feeling uncomfortable surrounded by a suffocating heat and fear – Subaru slid from his bed. Almost staggering, he searched around for a light, hardly looking around the room as he made his way to the bathroom.

Once inside he tried to focus. His pupils dilated immediately when he flicked the bathroom light switch on. Hovering over the sink, Subaru clutched his stomach, getting an ominous feeling in his chest that he was going to puke all over his bathroom floor.

Thankfully, with the knowledge that he hadn't eaten in quite some time – vomiting proved to be a rather impossible task.

Subaru chose to ignore his nausea, instead pondering back to the dream- no, the nightmare that had just torn him from a good nights sleep. Some thing in the back of his brain was telling him he was forgetting some thing… important… Some thing horribly important.

Subaru, trying to shove the anxious, tight feeling of depression in his chest away, wandered off instead out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom. He threw on a shirt hastily, popping open draws just as quickly and slipped into a pair of pants with ease.

Not bothering to even gather a coat to prepare himself against the frigid air, Subaru retreated once more to the bathroom and drew a thick pair of black curtains backward – then pried apart the bathroom window, skidding out onto the window frame, and with a strong leap – bounded into the oblivion of the night, his feet rhythmically hitting cold stone with each land. The Sumeragi had not even bothered to put neither shoes nor socks on.

Subaru's breathe grew raspy as be sucked in an air that was too thick for his liking – wind whipped his short black locks to the side, and a sky with not a single light bleakly dangled over him in an almost impending gesture.

Finally, he reached his destination, using more of his sense rather then his knowledge of direction. A window hidden in the masses of others along the buildings sleek wall does little to nothing to hide where the Sumeragi knows the Sakurazuka resides.

"Seishirou," The young man sickly whispered, vocal cords abused from the winter night. With a weak smile on his lips, he descended downward – his feet causing the window pane to give a slight creak with the addition of his weight.

If he had not felt so fretful and fear-ridden, Subaru would have gladly gone through the apartment the correct way, crossed a few elevators, and knocked on Seishirou's door.

_Desperate times call for desperate measures, _The Sumeragi assured himself. _And it's not like Seishirou actually cares anyway. _ Fiercely swinging his fist back and forwards, the window shattered.

Stepping into the room, not even acknowledging the pieces of glass as they drew blood on his feet. Subaru snuck around for a light, calling as he moved across the room, "Seishirou…?" Having found a light, the room illuminated, and the younger boy winced a little at the brightness. "Seishirou?"

Instead of seeing what he thought he'd see, however… Subaru's eyes come in contact with an apartment barren of… of anything. No essentials. No person… No Seishirou.

The Sumeragi reeled into reality, like a hard slap in the face, his body jerking, as if possesed, searching, _seeking _for proof, on the verge of tears again - a mirror - around for the nearest mirror –

And upon seeing his reflection, his eyes widened at the two mismatched eyes, one the color of dark emerald and the other – _amber._

He drops to his knees as if they'd broken, tears trailing down frozen cheeks.

And a whimper, almost dead, calling out for no one to hear in a voice that was futile,

"_Seishirou_… _Why_…."


End file.
